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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443230">Recuérdame</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyspeeches/pseuds/honeyspeeches'>honeyspeeches</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Memory Loss, i don't want to include some tags so that it doesnt spoil but ya, uhhhh that's pretty much it i think</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:35:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,114</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyspeeches/pseuds/honeyspeeches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Keith had a mission to complete.</p><p>He wasn’t going to do it alone or anything, because in a broader sense, it was a Voltron mission. But he had his own personal mission, too. He was going to live through this reconnaissance, and then he was going to catch Lance alone. He was going to tell him.</p><p>The thing was that lately, or maybe for longer than that actually, he’d been looking at Lance and thinking of the future. After Voltron, after the war and the aftermath. There wasn’t one future where Lance wasn’t in it. Keith didn’t want there to be, either.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Keith &amp; Allura, Keith &amp; Shiro, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance &amp; Pidge &amp; Hunk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>239</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Recuérdame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so.... this may have come to me as I awoke in a cold sweat at 3 a.m. and it may have caused delay in all of my other project but HERE WE ARE</p><p>This was going to be a simple story based on the concept of this <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/2695289">kagehina fic</a> but instead it turned into this monster of 15k haha i dunno when to stop.</p><p>Anyway I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Keith had a mission to complete.</p><p>He wasn’t going to do it alone or anything, because in a broader sense, it was a Voltron mission. But he had his own personal mission, too. He was going to live through this reconnaissance, and then he was going to catch Lance alone. He was going to tell him.</p><p>The reconnaissance should be easy enough. They had to infiltrate a Galra base to get the coordinates of where they kept their prisoners. There was one in particular that they needed. An engineer the Galra had forced to work for them. If they could free her, they could change the course of the war in a matter of a week.</p><p>Honestly, Keith was just delaying his anxiety by putting it after this mission, but just enough that it would become inevitable either way. The mission wasn’t extremely dangerous, so really, there was a high chance that Keith was going to come out on the other side whole-skinned and therefore there was a high chance that he was gonna have to tell Lance.</p><p>The thing was that lately, or maybe for longer than that actually, he’d been looking at Lance and thinking of the future. After Voltron, after the war and the aftermath. There wasn’t one future where Lance wasn’t in it. Keith didn’t want there to be, either.</p><p>So, when Keith woke up that morning, he squared his shoulders, cracked his neck and headed for the control room, where he was sure everyone was waiting already. Usually he wasn’t this late. Actually, he was normally one of the first people there. But he had had a hard time finding his suit, since it wasn’t where he thought he’d put it last night, but he’d found it eventually.</p><p>The control room area neared, and when the doors parted for him to get inside, he heard idle chatter die immediately. Everyone was already there, but when he looked Lance, Pidge and Hunk weren’t wearing their flight suit, and no one from the Blade of Marmora were there.</p><p>Keith didn’t know what he had expected. Maybe something like everyone circled around a holo-table, the schematics of the ships plans laid out and everyone discussing details. Allura and Shiro in the middle, giving out posts and roles. Coran behind Allura, twirling his mustache. Lance distracting Hunk and Pidge from the meeting and getting chewed out by Allura once she realized he wasn’t listening.</p><p>Something like that.</p><p>What he wasn’t expecting was everyone standing around and avoiding eye contact, completely calm and… not like they had an impending mission to handle.</p><p>“What’s going on,” Keith said finally. The silence was too compact for his taste. “Why aren’t you suited up?” After he had already said the words, he saw <em> no one </em> was wearing their combat gear. Allura was in her royalty robes, and Shiro was still in the clothes Keith gave him back on Earth that had once belonged to his dad. Keith kept forgetting how much Shiro resembled his dad in those clothes.</p><p>For the first few seconds, no one said anything, and it was in that silence that Keith realized that the view from the control room didn’t show the dark vacuum of space like yesterday. Actually, it showed what looked like a meadow, with a bright purple sky. It kinda looked like… Earth on a late evening, just seconds after the sun said goodbye and before the stars blinked hello.</p><p>He tried thinking back to when they had landed, or a reason why they would have, but they must have done it while he was asleep.</p><p>“Uh,” Hunk blurted, but he looked like he regretted even emitting a sound, sending a panicked look to Lance who was staring at the floor.</p><p>When Keith, looked though, he snapped his head up immediately, and shrugged nonchalantly. “You didn’t get the memo? Tch, typical Keith, too good for memos.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Shiro cleared his throat, but surprisingly didn’t shoot Lance a reprimanding look. Instead he looked to Allura, as if expecting her to pick up where he left. Lance went back to looking at the floor.</p><p>“I’m… not sure what Lance means with memos, but there <em> has </em> been a change of plans.”</p><p>“A change of plans? For a life or death mission in the fight to save the universe?”</p><p>Allura opened her mouth, as if she was at a loss, but before she could conjure up any words, Pidge blurted, “It’s my fault. I lost the recon coordinates and now I have to do the whole process over again, so…” she hugged her computer tightly to her chest. Hunk, beside her, looked like he wanted to console her. Keith kind of wanted to do the same. He knew how Pidge would get when things didn’t go her way, especially with things like this.</p><p>Keith looked around at everyone, his thoughts swirling. He didn’t know much about Pidge’s processes, but maybe it took long enough that they couldn’t be sitting ducks in the middle of space. Although that had never been a problem before…</p><p>The only one who hadn’t said anything yet was Coran, but that guy was as hard to read as a pro at a poker game. Maybe Coran would be really good at poker, actually.</p><p>“Why am I the last to know about this?” Keith asked, placing his helmet under his arm. “And why are you all being so weird?”</p><p>“Tch, you know what you need?” Lance said and walked towards him. He put his arm around Keith’s shoulder and started walking back towards the doors. “To get out of that suit and take a chill walk outside. It’s great weather, and until Pidge figures out her whole math equation or whatever nerd thing she’s got going on, there’s really not much for us to do.”</p><p>Keith had figured it was something along those lines. Allura must have thought the team deserved a break. They had been working exceptionally hard lately.</p><p>Keith looked back at Shiro for confirmation, expecting, but also low-key hoping, he would put a stop to whatever Lance was up to, but was surprised yet again when he smiled encouragingly. “He’s right, Keith.”</p><p>“Hold on, did you just say Lance is right? Did you hit your head or something?”</p><p>“Hey!” Lance quipped.</p><p>Shiro’s lips thinned, but he quirked his mouth to hide it. “Just take Lance up on this. Relax. Once we find the coordinates, we’ll get right back to the mission.”</p><p>Keith took one last look at each of them, sending him reassuring smiles, except Pidge who was still clutching her computer and looking anywhere but him. He could tell Hunk was trying, but his wringing hands gave him away.</p><p>“Oh...kay…?” As soon as he said that, Lance turned him around and pushed him by the shoulders out of the control room and all the way to his room to change. He told him he would wait outside for him and that he’d only have seven minutes to get ready, because Lance didn’t have all day.</p><p>To which Keith rolled his eyes, because he was pretty sure that while they were all sitting ducks, there wasn’t really anything else for Lance to do, but whatever. Also seven minutes was too specific a time for anyone to pick to wait for, so he didn’t believe that sentence one bit.</p><p>Maybe it was just an excuse to spend time with him, he started thinking as he put on his shirt on again. Maybe Lance wanted him to hurry up so they could spend more time together.</p><p>So, the mission had become a bust. Didn’t mean his plan had to. He could tell him on the walk. He could tell him outside on the planet that looked so much like Earth that somewhere in between all the fighting and the yelling and the war, Keith had found his home somewhere in the corner of Lance’s smile.</p><p>He could tell him that he had never felt like this ever in his life. That Keith was scared of that thought alone, but he was even more scared of a future without him in it.</p><p>Taking a last deep breath, he was finally ready. When he met Lance outside on the field for their joint trek, it was with a pounding heart and racing thoughts. He was afraid one look at Lance would spill it all out, so he used most of the walk looking around, not worrying about Lance going up ahead, as if he knew where he was going. He had the distinct thought that Lance would never leave him behind.</p><p>The field outside <em> did </em> look like Earth. The sky was purple, which subsequently cast the grass under their feet into a blue-tinted light that seriously messed with Keith’s color perception. There were some pretty white flowers though. He kind of wanted to pick one for Lance, but he was afraid it would give him away too early.</p><p>But when he glanced at Lance out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Lance had plucked one, and was reaching over to put it behind Keith’s ear. He had to brush Keith’s bangs out of the way to do it. It sent a shiver all across Keith’s body. He blamed it on the wind.</p><p>There was a light wind, just cool enough to keep their sweat at bay, and it made Lance’s hair sweep gently across his forehead so lovingly and endearingly that Keith felt a certain ache in his heart. He suddenly wanted to touch him. To gently drag a finger across his forehead where his bangs were currently in his eyes. His hair wasn’t as long as Keith’s, but it somehow made Keith want to caress it even more.</p><p>He refrained though. Hopefully, there would still be time for it.</p><p>Once they started walking again, it was the usual. Lance was going off about this and that, like how he loved kicking alien ass, but “sometimes I think I miss roughhousing with Marco, although don’t <em> ever </em> tell him I said that,” and “How do mermaids have sex? Like where are their private parts?”, “What the quiznak, Lance?”, “What? It’s a totally normal question!” </p><p>But Keith didn’t mind, because Lance gave him space to respond and tear holes in some of his exaggerations, like for example when Lance tried taking credit for saving Keith’s life at the battle of Xhera.</p><p>“Lance, I was there. I <em> saw </em> Pidge take down that drone.”</p><p>“Yeah! But she couldn’t have done it without my excellent distraction skills.”</p><p>Keith shook his head, but he let himself smile while Lance was looking. They had come to a hill they’d been trekking the last five minutes, but somehow Keith didn’t think that was why Lance was slowing down.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Keith started, climbing a little ways ahead of Lance, but looking over his shoulder nonetheless. “Is that what you’re doing now?”</p><p>“<em> What? </em>” Lance squawked and laughed nervously at the ground, “No? You— wait.” Lance looked up as they reached top together, and Keith couldn’t help but notice how close their hands were. “You think I’m distracting?”</p><p>Keith was tempted to say ‘<em> no’ </em> . Say ‘ <em> there’s nothing distracting about you’ </em>. But he was tired of lying. He was tired of not being able to keep eye contact with Lance, because he was afraid Lance would be able to read him if he looked into his eyes for more than three seconds. </p><p>He was tired of not being able to appreciate Lance’s deep, rich brown eyes. How sometimes they were so dark he couldn’t see the pupil or sometimes so light they looked green. They’d reached the top together. He was tired of pretending that didn’t mean anything.</p><p>“Yeah,” he ended up saying. Because he couldn’t keep it in any longer.</p><p>Because Keith looked at him now and felt breathless. Not from the trek, not from the view, but from the lack of distance between them; from looking into Lance’s eyes and from his fingers touching idly at Lance’s that sent sparks down his spine. From how he could almost taste lightning on his tongue whenever he looked at him.</p><p>And god how Lance looked at him; like Keith had told him he’d gotten in to the garrison after fighting so hard; like telling him He was going home. Keith thought maybe this was the longest stretch of time Lance had ever been quiet, and he couldn’t believe that his honesty was what had managed to shut him up.</p><p>They were on the top of the world and he felt pretty invincible. Maybe, perhaps, this was even better than telling him after a life or death situation. Because up here there were almost no worries. The castle was so far away. There was a long way back to the real world.</p><p>So he took a chance. Keith stretched his fingers until Lance’s hand was in his, until both of his hands were, and he made sure Lance was still looking at him when he said, “Everything about you is distracting. Most of the time, you make me forget… everything. Just you talking to me is one big distraction and sometimes I think it might have just saved my life.”</p><p>Lance’s gaze was heavy on his face, on his lips.</p><p>He didn’t say, ‘<em> I can’t imagine my life without you’ </em> , or ‘ <em> I can’t believe my heart chose you’ </em> , or ‘ <em> I would run the ends of the earth for you’ </em>, but he hoped it was all conveyed when he kissed him.</p><p>Keith felt weightless, like he was flying, but <em> better </em>. For the longest time flying was the best thing that ever happened to him. It was the closest thing to ecstasy he would ever have. The freedom, the action, the velocity. The certainty that he was unstoppable, that nobody could touch him, that he was a wild horse running through wilderness, wind in his hair, worries at his back. </p><p>And this was even better than that.</p><p>The best thing about the whole ordeal was that Lance was kissing him back. Keith thought he might lose blood in his fingers from how hard Lance was squeezing them, but then he let go to grip the sides of Keith’s face instead.</p><p>It made Keith want him closer, grabbing his sides to feels his warmth, his body. To feel that fantastic thrill that ran in his veins whenever he was near, whenever he touched him. God, Keith felt like months of agony was gone. All of that melted out with the feeling of Lance’s lips on his.</p><p>“I love you,” he whispered in between kisses, half wishing that the wind had carried the words away. It was mortifying and invigorating at the same time to be this vulnerable, but Keith didn’t want that with anyone else.</p><p>Then, Lance leaned away, but only a fraction, his voice coming out softly when he said, “Keith,” as he leaned against him.</p><p>The thing was, Keith knew every intricate detail of Lance. He could read him like an open book. It made them an excellent team on the battlefield, but it also meant that Keith could hear the distress in the way Lance said his name.</p><p>“Sorry,” Keith said, feeling suddenly very aware of himself. “I don’t really know what I’m doing.”</p><p>Lance sighed, “It’s not that,” and hugged him, hiding his face in Keith’s shoulder despite the fact he had to hunch a little to do it. “I love you, too. I wish you’d always remember that.”</p><p>Keith’s heart soared. His heart was beating so hard he thought Lance might have been able to feel it. He gripped Lance around his midriff, clutching so tight he thought his fingers might get stuck that way. Not that he minded.</p><p>He didn’t think he could let go of Lance in that moment, not even if the heaven and earth moved for him.</p><p>“I don’t think I could ever forget,” Keith answered and kissed Lance’s shoulder.</p><p>He stayed there, his mouth pressing delicately to Lance’s clothed shoulder like a promise, and it was like that that Keith noticed Lance was shaking.</p><p>Keith didn’t understand. “Lance?”</p><p>At the sound of his name, Lance raised his head and kissed the side of Keith’s face twice, then grabbed his hands. When his face was in view, Keith saw something on Lance’s face he saw very rarely. He was too young to look so serious, Keith thought.</p><p>“Keith,” Lance said and hugged Keith’s hands to his chest. “You’re not going to remember this tomorrow.”</p><p>Keith shook his head, “What?”</p><p>“You’ve already— God, Keith. I know you love me. I already know, because you’ve already told me.”</p><p>“That makes no sense,” Keith argued, not understanding the crinkle of Lance’s brow. He hadn’t seen that crinkle since Keith had come back from the Blade of Marmora headquarters, bloodied and bruised from their trials.  “I’ve never told you before today.”</p><p>“Yes, you have.” Lance closed his eyes and raised Keith’s knuckles to kiss them, rubbing his fingers over them soothingly. It almost managed to distract Keith from the situation. Almost. “Keith,” his voice sounded so— weary, “You have short-term memory loss. That mission you keep showing up for, every morning? It already happened. That’s where— That’s where you got hit— hit in the head.”</p><p>Keith shook his head, his mouth ticking into a reflexive smile that dropped just as quickly. His heart was pounding so hard, but for a different reason this time. He waited for Lance to say ‘<em> april fools </em>’ or something just as dumb, but he was just staring at their hands. Entwined.</p><p>Keith shook his head again, as if that would make the situation go away. “That’s not funny.” But neither of them were laughing. He knew Lance. He knew he wasn’t joking. That this wasn’t a joke.</p><p>“So…” Keith said slowly, slipping his hands out of Lance’s grasp. “You getting me out here... was just to let me play out, like a broken record?”</p><p>“No, Keith—”</p><p>“How long have I been—“ he couldn’t finish the sentence, but it seemed he didn’t have to.</p><p>“Two weeks,” Lance answered.</p><p>Keith balked. “<em>Two</em> <em>weeks</em>?” His hands were clenched into fists, an automatic response from when he used to punch walls, but there were no walls around him and the closest thing he could grab was his hair. His feet started to feel weak, so he started pacing. “I— I’ve been repeating myself for two weeks?”</p><p>“Keith, it’s okay—”</p><p>“No it’s not okay! I can’t even remember the first time I kissed you? Or the first time I said—”</p><p>Lance looked so heartbroken, but he couldn’t possibly convey the feeling Keith was living through. He felt like a lie. Like nothing was real. He felt hopeless, pointless. Nothing he did was going to matter anyway, because he wasn’t even going to remember it.</p><p>He couldn’t even remember— god he’d already kissed Lance and he couldn’t even remember— </p><p>He felt like punching that godforsaken wall. He felt like screaming. He felt like crying. This couldn’t be real.</p><p>Keith must have blacked out because the next thing he knew he was sitting down, his head between his legs and his hands in his hair. The breeze was still gentle, caressing his skin soothingly as he struggled to breathe. He could feel a heavy weight on his back that he knew was Lance’s hand.</p><p>“Do you—” he hesitated. He almost didn’t want to ask. “Do you actually love me back or… do you just— pity me.”</p><p>“Tch, when have you ever let me pity you?” Lance snaked his hand up to the back of Keith’s neck and squeezed, once.</p><p>Keith choked on his laugh, but it did make him raise his head. He looked at Lance who was looking old with a young face, but was trying his best to smile at him, anyway. He felt like it was the first time he was seeing him… or, something close to it.</p><p>It felt like déjà vu without it actually being déjà vu.</p><p>He wanted to kiss him so bad, but he wouldn’t remember in the morning. He wouldn’t remember any of this.</p><p>“What— what is there left to try?” Keith asked.</p><p>Lance shook his head and slid his hand down Keith’s back just to pick up his hand and play with his fingers. “We’ve tried everything. We tried putting you back into the cryo-pod, but no dice. We also tried contacting our allies to see if they had any treatments for memory loss, but there were none worth the risk.”</p><p>“I don’t care about risks.”</p><p>“That’s what you said back then, too.” He flicked Keith on the forehead, but rubbed it immediately after with his thumb. “Shiro managed to talk you out of it, though.”</p><p>Keith chewed on the side of his cheek for a while. Thinking. If Shiro had to talk Keith out of it, they must have been really dangerous without enough guarantee. Although Shiro was the levelheaded one of them, he would sometimes be lenient on risky plans if the outcome was worth it enough.</p><p>There must have been something they hadn’t tried yet. Something that wouldn’t have as much risk. Something that Shiro and the others trusted enough to let him do...</p><p>Keith snapped his head up. “What about Allura?”</p><p>Lance paused in his fiddling and looked at Keith, almost wary. “What about her?”</p><p>“She healed that gigantic balmera planet, right? I’ll be a peace of cake.”</p><p>“The mind is a little bit more intricate than a crystal monster, Keith.”</p><p>“How?” Keith argued insistently, but Lance just shook his head, not taking the bait.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter anyway,” he said, “She already said no.”</p><p>Keith looked hard at Lance. “She said <em> what? </em>” He bolted to his feet and started the trek down the hill, again, his blood roaring in his ears.</p><p>“Keith!” Lance yelled behind him. “Stop!” But Keith didn’t stop. the trek was steep but he ground his heels into the soft dirt to keep his balance. He had the experience from climbing mountains anyway. Hills were nothing.</p><p>That was, until Lance grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn around. He gripped Keith’s forearms to keep him from falling, and Keith saw that he was also clutching the flower he’d placed in his hair earlier. It must have fallen out. “It’s not worth it!”</p><p>Keith ripped his arms from Lance’s hands, “You don’t <em> get </em> it, Lance! I’m <em> useless </em> like this. This is why we’re here isn’t it?”</p><p>“We’ll figure it out—”</p><p>“No we won’t! We’ve been here for two weeks already! How many people have to die while I’m stuck in an endless loop?”</p><p>It must have been the first time Keith had said something like that, because Lance looked taken aback, his mouth opening and closing like he didn’t know what to say.</p><p>Keith wasn’t waiting. He leaped the rest of the way down the hill and sprinted all the way back to the castle.</p><p>***</p><p>Keith had only been to Allura’s chambers once, when he had needed her to tell him how to make the weird pool normal enough to swim in. He’d remembered it as big. Bigger than any of the paladin’s rooms. Fit for royalty. Now, though, as he was walking down the halls to her room, he thought it was smaller than he had remembered.</p><p>Maybe that was another memory his scrambled brain had messed up.</p><p>He knew she was in her room, because while they were all stranded here to let Keith play out like a broken record day in and day out, he knew that there was nothing for them to do other than sitting around.</p><p>Allura’s favorite place to hang out was her own room. Keith had found this odd for a while, until he’d realized that was exactly how he liked to spend his time, too, aside from the training deck. Now, he understood it even more. He didn’t really feel like talking to anybody either, after all of this. But his blood was boiling too hot for him to consider this now.</p><p>When he reached her double doors, he pounded on the doors so hard he thought his legs shook with them. He didn’t feel any pain, the leather of his gloves taking the brunt of the vibrations.</p><p>It was only a matter of seconds before Allura opened it a crack, and Keith didn’t give her any time to consider whom her guest was before he stormed inside, between the little sliver of space she had offered.</p><p>“Keith?” She said, as if surprised, placing a hand under her collarbone.</p><p>“You can fix me, right?” Keith demanded, “So fix me.”</p><p>Allura considered him for a moment longer, although now she didn’t look surprised. Just thoughtful. Then she sighed and made way for her vanity, picking up her brush as if she had the intention of brushing her hair. But not one of the bristles touched a single hair. Instead she stroke her thumb across them. “We have already had this discussion.”</p><p>“I don’t care about the risks,” Keith declared, and squared his shoulders. “I’ve got nothing left to lose.”</p><p>Allura put down the brush on her vanity again and turned in her seat, fixing Keith with a tired look. “Yes, you do.”</p><p>“Like what? I already have a messed up brain!” Keith didn’t mean to shout, but he was tired of people making decisions for him, like they had done all day. “You can’t form Voltron without me, and people out there are dying! Don’t be so selfish!”</p><p>“Selfish?” Allura outraged. Her eyes as sharp as steel, as cool as ice. “I am doing this for <em> you </em>!”</p><p>“More for <em> yourself </em>.” Allura looked taken aback, and Keith wondered how their first conversation had gone. If it had been anything like this. If she had heard him say all of this before and she was just humoring him now. Somehow, he didn’t think so. “You’re scared of your own power, and it’s costing the universe—”</p><p>“How <em> dare </em> you,” Allura said, lowly, standing from her seat, her eyes glowing a faint blue. “Don’t you think I understand the consequences this has? What I have already cost the universe? The innocent civilians?”</p><p>Keith said nothing. He didn’t think he could.</p><p>“I understand survivor’s guilt perfectly, Keith, but I will not let it take the little you have left—”</p><p>“You keep mentioning I have something to lose. What? What is it that’s to bad you won’t cure me—”</p><p>“You could forget us all!”</p><p>The words rang in echo through the room, shocking Keith to silence. </p><p>Allura slid back down to her seat by the vanity, after a moment. Her eyes seemed unable to meet Keith’s gaze, closing them instead. “I can’t lose another—”</p><p>She didn’t have to say it. Keith knew what she meant. To be honest, he felt kind of between a rock and a hard place. Allura was close to tears, which shocked Keith more than being told he had memory loss that reset every day. He wondered suddenly if he had seen her cry before and he just couldn’t remember. He wondered how he’d reacted, if he had.</p><p>Inching slowly forward, Keith knelt in front of where Allura was sitting squeezing her tears back, so that, when she opened her eyes, she couldn’t avoid looking at him. Honestly, he was mostly surprised by Allura’s tears, not only because she had been so strong and hard-headed ever since he’d met her, but because, well… she’d reacted badly to his heritage. They’d moved on and everything but… when Allura had said she had come to think of him as family… he hadn’t really believed it.</p><p>And now... Allura’s tears were simultaneously the best gift and the worst curse he could ever have.</p><p>“Allura, please. You <em> have </em> to fix me,” he pleaded softly, swallowing. He felt like this was a moment to take her hands into his, but he somehow knew she wouldn’t appreciate it as others might. “I feel— left behind.” </p><p>He hated to admit it, because ever since his father’s death, he had made sure that would never happen again.<em> He </em> was always the one leaving people behind, planets behind, enemies behind. <em> He </em> would be the one walking away. <em> He </em> would be the one ten steps ahead. But this memory loss. It was undoing all of that hard work.</p><p>“Do you know how it feels, to know somewhere in your mind that there are so many memories you’re never gonna have? Memories are all I have. They were all I had when my dad died, when Shiro went missing.” What good was his future when he couldn’t remember his past?</p><p>Allura peeked her eyes open, glistening even in this low light.</p><p>“Now I have nothing.”</p><p>She shook her head gently, because she felt, too, the fragility of this moment. “I know full well how powerful memories can be.”</p><p>It struck Keith in his core, like a bullet full of melancholy and sympathy. Of course she would know. He felt like an idiot. He hadn’t considered that Allura knew exactly what he meant, what he was feeling right now. He’d been so wrapped up in his own misery he’d forgotten there was another orphan in this castle.</p><p>“And that’s why I can’t risk erasing the very last bit of memory you have left. No one—” she continued, fixing him with that look that was so familiar, so befitting of her. The look that said what she said next could not be argued with. “No one is leaving you behind. And no one is going to. We will find a solution to this, I most of all.” She kissed him, gently on the forehead, and Keith had the distinct feeling that they must have never had this conversation before. “Trust me on this.”</p><p>***</p><p>Storming into Allura’s room wasn’t enough for Keith. He had to storm into Lance’s as well. Not by choice… or anything.</p><p>Mostly it was because Keith had promised himself one thing after getting back from Allura’s room. That he would help himself remember the next day. If he had to do it himself, so be it.</p><p>The only problem was that the desk that accompanied his room didn’t have any utensils in them, so he had no paper or pen to write on or write with respectively. He knew where he could find some, though.</p><p>Lance had gotten the habit, ever since leaving Earth, that he would write letters about important events to his family. He didn’t think Keith knew about it, but he had overheard Lance asking for it to Coran, saying the various planets and their cultures had struck an artistic chord in him, which Keith hadn’t believed for one second. He had eventually found a thrown away draft for one of his letters in the trashcan in the kitchen. </p><p>It had made Keith think for days.</p><p>So, that was how he knew he would find a pen and paper in Lance’s desk, ignoring Lance’s squawk of surprise and outrage.</p><p>“What’re you— Keith!”</p><p>Keith whirled around to exit Lance’s room as quickly as possible again. He was still angry. At himself, at Lance. At everyone. Despite Allura’s well meaning, it had done nothing to quell the uselessness he felt. He was still here. Going through an eternal loop until they could find something to fix him, because the one person who could, refused to.</p><p>He knew why she didn’t want to. He understood. But he was still angry about it.</p><p>“Hey, hold on,” Lance said, grabbing Keith’s arm to stop him from leaving. Keith stopped up short, but he didn’t turn around. “What do you plan to do with those?”</p><p>“You’re the one claiming to be the strategist,” Keith snarked, turning around, “figure it out.”</p><p>“Yeah, and you’re the one that told me I didn’t have enough brain cells to <em> be </em> the strategist, so, spell it out for the dum-dum.”</p><p>“You’re not a dum-dum.”</p><p>“A-<em> ha </em> . I <em> knew </em> you think I’m the smart one.”</p><p>“You’re ridiculous.” Keith said, rolling his eyes.</p><p>“But,” Lance smiled coyly, “I got you to show those Galra fangs we see so little of, so I think I deserve a better pet name than ‘ridiculous’.”</p><p>“They’re normal sized canines, dumbass.”</p><p>Lance clicked his tongue and stroke his chin, as if he had any facial hair on his face. (He didn’t. Keith checked.) “Mm, nope, we’re kind of regressing here on the pet names. C’mon, Keith, you’re supposed to come with <em> better </em> names, not <em> worse </em>.”</p><p>Keith crossed his arms, reveling in the small smiling wrinkle in the corner of Lance’s mouth. “I think dumbass is very befitting of you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Lance said, his eyes glinting, “You think you’re such a smartass?”</p><p>“Well, I <em> am </em> the smart one.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s <em> it </em>!”</p><p>Before Keith knew it, Lance swooped in and grabbed Keith by his waist, effectively making Keith lose grip on the paper and pen he’d forgotten he was holding.</p><p>Keith gripped Lance by the shoulders, wiggling and struggling to be set free while he yelled at Lance to let him go, but it was useless. Lance had lifted him off the ground and started to walk towards his bed.</p><p>They wrestled for a while, Keith almost coming on top until Lance played dirty and blew in Keith’s face to make him close his eyes and loosen his grip. It worked, because Lance caught Keith’s wrist in his hands and held them up by his head to make sure he couldn’t use them against him and effectively winning the fight.</p><p>Keith couldn’t believe he had let Lance distract him from what he had come here to do <em> and </em>let him win in roughhousing. But he wasn’t complaining, with how close Lance was. His heart was beating furiously, but not unpleasantly.</p><p>Lance kept glancing between Keith’s eyes and his mouth, his feral smile that he got when they were competing softening around the edges. It drove Keith as wild as when Lance smiled so wide he got a dimple.</p><p>Keith swallowed, and fisted his hands. “I want to kiss you.”</p><p>Lance looked up from where he was watching Keith’s mouth move, his eyes dark dark dark, the two of them hidden in the little corner of his bed. He couldn’t think of a safer place to be. “So kiss me, Mullet.”</p><p>Keith looked at Lance’s lips longingly, wishing he could inch his head up the last few centimeters to close the space between them. He suddenly remembered the kiss on the hill with a wave of nostalgia. A bittersweetness he was sure he wouldn’t feel again. He shook his head. “I won’t remember this tomorrow.”</p><p>“I’ll remind you,” Lance whispered softly, resting his head gently on Keith’s forehead. He released his hold on Keith’s wrists to thread their hands instead. </p><p>It made Keith’s stomach go absolutely wild, as if a kaleidoscope of butterflies were trying to escape.</p><p>“Promise me.”</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>“Promise me you’ll tell me.”</p><p>Lance smiled sadly, like someone who had just heard a wish that would never come true. “You won’t believe me.”</p><p>“Yes, I will,” Keith decided. He gripped Lance’s hands extra hard to make him understand. “Yes. I will. If you let me stay.”</p><p>Lance still didn’t seem convinced, so Keith kissed him once on the lips. “Please, Lance.” He kissed him again, this time for longer. “I don’t want this to end.”</p><p>Lance kept silent for a long while, considering him before leaning down to pepper small kisses all across his face. Eventually, he nodded against Keith’s throat. He just held him, like that.</p><p>Keith snaked his arms around Lance’s back, too, leaning his head towards where Lance’s was resting, because he couldn’t stand being even an inch away from him. Any part of him. He was so scared. The thought of waking up tomorrow and not remembering any of today. Not remembering their first — not first — kiss on the top of the hill, not remembering their fight or their roughhousing or their kisses or this. He wasn’t going to remember any of this.</p><p>Keith squeezed his hands to fists to keep them from shaking, and squeezed his eyes too, to keep them from crying. He willed himself not to fall asleep the rest of the night.</p><p>But he should have known it wouldn’t have been so easy.</p><p>***</p><p>Waking up with Keith the next morning was— rough, to say the least. Or, well— Lance had been shocked first and foremost, because opening his eyes and seeing Keith’s sleeping face beside him was not one of the things he’d thought he would wake up to.</p><p>At least, until he remembered why Keith was even in his bed to begin with.</p><p>Lance was surprised Keith hadn’t woken up first. Usually, he would be the one up and early. Sometimes from lack of sleep to begin with, but mostly he was just a morning person, which Lance did <em> not </em> understand at <em> all </em>. Who in the world would want to wake up early, anyway? People like Hunk… and Keith…. and Shiro… and Coran. But sometimes Lance doubted they were even human. Coran certainly was not, so that just proved his point.</p><p>Wait, where had he started? Oh right, Keith was in his bed, still sleeping.</p><p>Lance knew he had promised Keith he would tell him, but just looking at him, he didn’t know how. He had done it so many times before, but this time was just… different. Keith had been different, which was really unusual but… it was also welcomed.</p><p>Usually when Keith got told he had memory loss he would get angry, start yelling and then isolate himself the rest of the day until he’d come out in his uniform, yet again. They had never… prolonged this.</p><p>Lance didn’t know what had changed, but he was scared of losing it. How many times could he bear hearing Keith proclaim his love for him as if it were his first time, before he forgot it again the next day.</p><p>He was so close. But Lance felt like Keith couldn’t have been further away.</p><p>It wasn’t all bad though. Lance got to witness Keith waking up, which was a special kind of blessing in and of itself. </p><p>He woke slowly, starting with a deep breath in and out, and then fluttering his eyes open second by second until he was staring at the ceiling. Lance made sure he wouldn’t be touching him, because he knew he remembered none of yesterday.</p><p>He was right when he witnessed Keith stare at the ceiling in confusion, sliding his eyes slowly to where Lance lay beside him. His eyes widened fractionally, but they were still heavy, as if he was only half-awake. “Lance?”</p><p>It took everything in Lance not to kiss him right then and there. His groggy voice first thing in the morning was bittersweet, sending a thrill down his spine and an aching pang deep in his chest.</p><p>“What are you doing in my— what,” he corrected, when he had a look around and saw that this room was mirrored to his own. “What am <em> I </em> doing in <em> your </em> bed.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Lance considered, not moving. “Funny. No one’s ever asked me that…”</p><p>Keith hit him in the arm, smiling softly when Lance sniggered lowly in the space between them. “Yeah, cause no one’s ever been in—” Then his eyes got real wide and he sat up in a hurry, looking as if he was about to go sprinting out of the door. “The meeting! We’re—” He looked back at Lance with astonishment. “Why aren’t you at the meeting? They’re probably waiting for us!”</p><p>And suddenly, the tiniest bit of lightness Lance had felt in this miniature moment between them vanished. Lance’s smile didn’t come as easy any longer, but he kept it on, if only to reassure Keith for what he was about to tell him. “Keith,” he said, and touched Keith’s arm, guiding him back to the bed. Lance shouldn’t have been surprised by the willingness, but it struck through him nonetheless, when he saw Keith go back to lying down without protest. “There is no meeting today, because...”</p><p>Keith’s eyes were so intense, staring, boring directly into Lance, as if he could tell Lance was about to break the worst news he could ever receive. The truth was Lance knew exactly what memory was to Keith. And he knew what he had promised, yesterday.</p><p>“Because… uh— Pidge— lost the coordinates.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Lance nodded to himself, “Yup, uh-huh, uh for the location, so she has to do the whole, um, process again.”</p><p>Keith narrowed his eyes, like he wasn’t entirely convinced. Lance panicked.</p><p>“Don’t mention it to her, though. She’s pretty upset about it. You know how she gets about— stuff like that.”</p><p>Keith’s eyes softened. “Right.” </p><p>Lance knew Keith had a soft spot for Pidge, probably because they were so much alike, or probably because she was the youngest, and Keith had never experienced having younger siblings. Lance felt kind of bad for using Pidge against him like that. Actually, he felt horrible for lying to him in the first place, breaking his promise. But until they found a cure, there just wasn’t any point in telling him.</p><p>There was no point in watching him break down and tear himself apart with guilt, again and again and again. Lance couldn’t watch it anymore. He wouldn’t. It was incredibly selfish, but this way, Keith didn’t have to suffer any more than he had to, either. </p><p>And Maybe he wanted Keith all to himself. Maybe he wanted to love Keith like he hadn’t been able to, give him the affection that had been sitting dormant and stirring for a long time.</p><p>So instead of a breakdown, Lance watched Keith stir in silence for a couple more seconds, unsure of what to say, until the usual frown returned. “Wait, you didn’t answer my question. What am I doing in your room?”</p><p>“No, no,” Lance injected, climbing to his forearms and looming over Keith. “The question is, what do you <em> want </em> to do in my room?”</p><p>It got the exact effect he wanted. Keith’s cheeks glowed bright red, his frown deepening into an exasperated spluttering line. “Wha— You— Lance! That’s not funny!” He pushed at Lance’s shoulder’s to push him back down, but Lance wasn’t budging. He seemed to get fuelled with mischief by the glow of Keith’s cheeks.</p><p>Lance pushed himself up on his palms, his hands on either side of Keith’s head. He looked down at Keith’s shocked expression, and wished another time that Keith hadn’t forgotten about yesterday. Or the day before that. Or the day before that.</p><p><em> There’s no point in dwelling in it </em> . Lance thought to himself. <em> What’s done is done </em>.</p><p>“Do you know that I love you?” Lance murmured quietly. He’d said it a thousand times, probably, and he would say it a thousand times more.</p><p>Keith’s eyes got as big as saucers. Lance could hear his breath stuttering in his chest. “You— You do?”</p><p>Lance lowered himself, but he didn’t kiss him, just placed himself within distance. In every scenario this happened, Lance never kissed Keith first. It was Keith’s choice. Whether he wanted to kiss Lance or not. Most of the time, he did.</p><p>“I love you like the moon loves the ocean,” Lance whispered truthfully. He could feel Keith’s breath caressing his mouth. “I love you like I love kicking galra butt.” Keith sputtered out a laugh, startlingly, as if caught by surprise. his laugh was so rough and raw, like an uncut diamond. He looked so happy. Lance could look at him like this forever. “I always have.”</p><p>“I— I love you, too,” Keith whispered back. “I was going to tell you, actually, when we got back from the recon.”</p><p><em> I know </em>, Lance thought sadly. He closed his eyes to hide his heartache.</p><p>Slowly, he felt Keith’s hands cupping his cheeks, bringing him lower and lower until lips touched lips. Until Lance forgot everything and melted into every touch Keith gave him.</p><p>He could feel the heat from Keith’s face, and he was probably just as red, but he didn’t care. He had missed this. So much. They had done this yesterday, sure, but all Lance had wanted to do when he’d woken up was do this exact thing from the moment Keith awoke. </p><p>So, Lance let himself do everything. He touched him everywhere, over the shirt, under the shirt. At first contact of skin to skin, Keith elicited a small ‘<em> eep!’ </em>’.</p><p>Lance had to break the kiss to hide his laugh in Keith’s shoulder. Keith laughed, too.</p><p>“Sorry,” Keith said between giggles, and brushed his bangs away from his eyes. “I don’t really know what I’m doing.”</p><p>Lance felt his smile slip away. The pang returned, because that’s exactly what Keith had said, yesterday. Lance shook the thought away and forced himself to face Keith, who was still smiling. God he looked so beautiful. “It’s okay. We’ll take it slow.”</p><p>Keith furrowed his eyebrows, like he couldn’t really believe Lance had just said that. “You’re so nice, all of a sudden. Maybe I should sleep in your bed more often.”</p><p>“Hey!” Lance protested, indignant. “Why’re you so surprised that I’m nice? I can be nice!”</p><p>Keith raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“Although,” Lance feigned consideration, then nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, you should— you should definitely sleep in my bed more often.”</p><p>They kissed for a while more, until Keith broke away, forcing Lance to kiss his jaw instead. “Wait,” he said, as Lance took it in stride and started kissing him all over his face. “How do you know Pidge lost the coordinates? And why wasn’t I told?”</p><p>“Wow, Keith, if that’s what you’re thinking of while we’re making out, this relationship is doomed.”</p><p>“We weren’t making out!” Keith sputtered, scandalized, his face growing pink again. “Anyway, I’m serious, answer my question!”</p><p>“Geez, fine,” Lance said, though he left Keith’s cheek reluctantly. He tried thinking of a lie. Something Keith wouldn’t look further in to. Curse Keith and his stupid, beautiful, smart brain! “I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, where I ran into Pidge. She told me. She said she’d tell the others, too.”</p><p>“She didn’t tell me.”</p><p>“She knew you were with me.”</p><p>“How’d she know that?”</p><p>“I told her, duh. Any more questions, detective?”</p><p>Keith looked away sheepishly, like a kid who’d been caught with their hand in a cookie jar. “It’s not that I think you’re lying, I just— I don’t know, doesn’t something feel weird about this? I mean, Pidge just suddenly lost the coordinates to the mission?”</p><p>“Hey, man. Pidge is trying really hard! Don’t put so much pressure on her.”</p><p>“I’m not! I just—” He considered his words, but it didn’t seem like he had any left.</p><p>Lance thought quickly. “Would it make you feel better if we checked up on the others?”</p><p>It seemed to have been the right thing to say, because Keith relaxed, then nodded. With a last kiss to Keith’s forehead, Lance got up from the bed, and they went together into the control room area.</p><p>Lance hoped they would all be in on the lie, like yesterday, but then he remember that they had only done so, to buy time for Lance to tell him properly. Shiro had thought it’d be better if one person broke the news to him, so that he didn’t feel trapped, and he had made Lance do it, because “Keith seems to orbit towards you, anyway. It’d be a good bonding experience.” Which Lance didn’t even want to unpack.</p><p>Anyway, if the others saw them come together, they wouldn’t immediately think Lance had told him, right?</p><p>He got his answer when they arrived. Shiro, Pidge and Hunk were there, Pidge sitting on her laptop, typing away. Lance could see from the doorway that she was decoding alien languages. Probably deciphering which one could cure Keith with minimal risk. Hunk was standing over her shoulder, peering down at the screen, his eyes flicking just as fast to follow Pidge’s progress. Shiro stood on the other side, his arms crossed, and his expression solemn.</p><p>At the sound of the door, Hunk and Shiro looked up. Hunk started to look sad, and a little nervous, which he had been ever since Keith had hit his head. It worsened his anxiety when someone from the team got injured.</p><p>“Hey,” Hunk said, at the same time Shiro fixed Lance a thoughtful look.</p><p>“Hey,” Keith answered, coming up to stand behind Pidge as well. He placed a well-meaning hand on her shoulder, and smiled when she looked. She tentatively smiled back, but quickly went back to tapping.</p><p>Lance grew nervous. If Keith understood anything on that screen, he would know immediately what was up. And it didn’t help that Shiro was making his way over to Lance, after patting Keith on the back on the way over. He looked serious. Which— he always did, but this was somehow more… serious. Lance decided he didn’t like it.</p><p>“Can I talk to you, for a sec?” Shiro tilted his head sideways, “over here?”</p><p>“Uh,” he said, distantly hearing Hunk ask how Keith was feeling, and Keith answering, confusedly, ‘fine…?’. He tried not to panic. “Sure.”</p><p>They walked a little ways out of ear shot. Lance asked, “What’s up?”</p><p>Shiro considered Keith standing by Hunk and Pidge, worriedly and tiredly. Lance suddenly had the distinct feeling that it couldn’t be easy to be the oldest among a group of teenagers. Shiro sighed wearily. “Look, Pidge can’t find a cure.”</p><p>It took Lance a couple of seconds to really sink in the words. “What? How’s that possible? Not a single cure in the whole universe? There must be something—”</p><p>“We can’t afford to wait any longer,” Shiro interjected. “The universe needs Voltron, we have to take a chance on Allura.”</p><p>“But she already said no?”</p><p>Shiro shook his head, and loosened his arms, as if he had wanted to gesture but thought better of it. “I talked with her this morning. She… didn’t agree easily, but it’s a risk we have to take.”</p><p>A part of Lance flared in anger, his blood running hot in his veins. “Wait, hold on— Keith could lose his entire memory! You’re okay with that?”</p><p>“Of course not!” Shiro whispered, tiredly. Usually, he wouldn’t have tolerated that tone from Lance, but he must have really been weighed down by this situation. “But people are dying out there. They need Voltron. Trust me, I didn’t come to this decision easily.” He looked back at Keith and sighed, his eyebrows pulling together. Keith was laughing at something Hunk had said.</p><p>Shiro had basically raised Keith, had taken him in when nobody had wanted him, watched him grow into the person he was now. Of course this couldn’t have been easy on him. He was making a big decision on someone who had been a big part of his life. But it didn’t help to lessen Lance’s irritation. Regardless, he felt like things were moving too fast, but he also knew Shiro could be as stubborn as Keith. Once he had decided something it was final.</p><p>“Anyway,” Shiro started again, sighing. “I wanted to make sure you’ve told him about his memory loss already, before we tell him.”</p><p>Lance’s heart sank. “Uh...”</p><p>Honestly, Lance had no idea what to say, or how to begin, but he was ready to spew out some good ol’ word vomit to maybe lessen the damage. Before he could start to explain, however, they both heard Keith asking Pidge if she was okay.</p><p>“Uh, yeah?” Pidge answered, looking up at Keith from her green seat. “Why wouldn’t I be?”</p><p>Keith gave Hunk an odd look, then turned back to Pidge. “Because you lost the coordinates…? Don’t worry about it, you’ll find them again.”</p><p>Immediately, Pidge snapped her head towards Lance, her expression unreadable. Hunk behind her, was twisting his hands, but even he managed to look disapproving despite looking like he wanted to throw up. </p><p>Keith looked, confused, between all three of them. “Uh, did I say something wrong?”</p><p>Lance had no chance of saying anything, and still no idea what he even would have said to that, before Shiro said incredulously, “You didn’t tell him?”</p><p>“Tell me what?” Keith demanded.</p><p>Lance turned back to Shiro, but recoiled at the look he gave him. Utter disapproval. “I didn’t know Allura had said yes. I thought I’d give him a peace of mind, just for today.”</p><p>“Lance, you know we promised to tell him every day!” Pidge interjected.</p><p>Lance felt so frustrated. He couldn’t believe— He had just wanted for Keith not to worry, just for a day. Just a day without troubles and problems and Keith breaking down. “You didn’t see him yesterday…”</p><p>Keith looked from Pidge to Lance to Shiro and fisted his hands. “Will someone please tell me what the quiznak is going on?”</p><p>Everyone fell silent for a long while, fiddling with their hands or touching their shirts, but looked anywhere but at Keith. Lance chewed his lip and considered telling him, himself, but he didn’t think he could handle the broken look again. He’d been doing this for two weeks, he couldn’t take it anymore.</p><p>Thankfully, it was Shiro who stepped forward and broke the silence. “Keith, we didn’t want you to find out this way,” he started, with a significant look at Lance, but it seemed that’s all he was capable of saying.</p><p>Hunk, beside Keith, placed a hand on his shoulder and made sure Keith was looking at him before he said. “The truth is, you hit your head at the recon mission. Your mind, like, resets every day. I’m so sorry, buddy.”</p><p>Keith started shaking his head, like he usually would when he was told, like he could shake the words out of his brain before they fully settled. “That’s—”<em> That’s not funny </em>, Lance expected him to say. Like yesterday, but instead he turned to look at Lance, his eyes far away, thoughtful. “That’s why—” His eyes locked onto Lance, and if looks could kill, Lance would have gotten incinerated.</p><p>“Keith—” Lance tried, eyeing his fists.</p><p>Hunk sent a nervous glance between them until Pidge grabbed his arm and said, “c’mon, let’s get Allura and Coran”. They filtered out of the room quietly, as Lance wished he could, but Keith was still locking him with his angry stare.</p><p>Shiro held out placating hands, physically stepping between them as if he thought Keith was going to deck Lance in the face. Lance wouldn’t blame him if he did. The hot shame in his gut bubbled like acid.</p><p>“Wait, Keith, I’m sure Lance had your best interest at heart,” Shiro pleaded. But Lance knew that wasn’t why Keith was angry.</p><p>Lance had made him sound crazy, made him sound like he wasn’t in his right mind suspecting the situation. Made him doubt his instinct which he relied so heavily on. Quiznak, he probably thought Lance lied because he pitied him. Or worse, because of selfish reasons, like wanting to spend a day without worrying about forgetting again tomorrow.</p><p>And it <em> was </em> selfish. Lance admitted that to himself, because he knew that he shouldn’t have done what he did, but he had just looked at Keith lying there, so peaceful and his mind out of trouble that he had wanted to prolong it just for a little. Just give Keith one day where he didn’t have to think about his memories and what it meant for the universe. He knew Keith would have done the same for him.</p><p>But the problem was now that if Allura’s healing worked, this is all he would remember. He wouldn’t remember any of the fourteen other times he had told him, and they had spent the rest of the day together, either finding the cure, comforting each other or… other things… Keith would remember this one time where Lance had lied to protect him.</p><p>“But the reason we’re telling you now,” Shiro continued, “Is that we think we have a cure. After two weeks of searching—”</p><p>“<em> Two weeks </em>?” Keith bellowed, and paced with his hands in his hair, just like yesterday and so many days before. “I’ve been like this for—” </p><p>Shiro walked to where Keith was balling his fists and placed both his hands on his shoulders, a calming technique Lance had seen him do more than once. It didn’t help Lance’s panic, though, even if it might have helped Keith’s. “Keith, listen to me. We can’t afford to sit out any longer. Allura saw this and finally agreed. I think she might have also been convinced by your talk yesterday.”</p><p>“I talked with her yesterday?” Keith asked, softly. Shiro nodded. “Why didn’t she agree before? Why didn’t she do this sooner?”</p><p>Shiro shook his head, “The risks were too big.”</p><p>“I don’t care about risks.”</p><p>Lance scoffed, eliciting another glare from Keith, but Shiro made sure to block his vision with his massive shoulder.</p><p>“<em> We </em> do. That’s why Allura said no. She cares about you, we all do.”</p><p>Keith took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “What were the risks, anyway, if you didn’t let me do it?”</p><p>Lance knew the question was directed at Shiro, but before he could think, he blurted, “You could lose your whole memory, smartass.” He looked away, his throat burning. “You could forget us.” The things he didn’t have to say were echoing through the room.</p><p>The silence that followed was suffocating. But it was short lived, luckily, because in the next moment Allura stepped in, Coran, Pidge and Hunk trailing behind her. She looked around for a time, but she must have decided not to ask, which Lance was grateful for.</p><p>He didn’t think he could look Keith in the eye for one more second.</p><p>They didn’t waste any time. Allura and Coran tried explaining the process as best as they could to Keith and the others, but Allura’s clear nervousness about the whole thing didn’t help to settle Lance’s nerves. He was bouncing his leg and tapping his finger before he knew it, and when it was time for Keith to get healed, he unconsciously followed.</p><p>Shiro stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, kindly, but firmly, saying behind him, “No, Lance. Allura has to do this alone. All we can do is trust her from here.”</p><p>Lance looked after where Keith and Allura were walking ahead; he felt like a part of him was being ripped out of his body. Lance shouldn’t have been surprised to hear that from Shiro. Allura and Shiro spent more time together than Keith and Shiro, and they were brothers. It made sense, nonetheless. They were two leaders alone with the fate of the world on their shoulders in the middle of space, against the space equivalent of fascists. He could imagine the kind of bond that created, no matter the circumstances. Of course, Shiro had all faith in Allura.</p><p>Keith had turned around at the sound of Shiro’s voice, and when he saw Lance standing in the middle of the floor, staring after him, he glared a last time before following Allura out of the door.</p><p>***</p><p>Now all they had to do was wait.</p><p>Lance’s mother had always told him that what he was worst at was waiting. He was as impatient as his father, she had said, couldn’t wait a day in his life. He thought it was a really inconvenient flaw to have right now.</p><p>He didn’t know how long this process was supposed to be, but he knew he felt like it dragged on for hours. At first he had tried to distract himself by sitting alone in his room and write a letter from today to his family that was never getting sent. But his pencil kept stopping when he had to describe what had happened to Keith.</p><p>Eventually, he gave up trying and decided to seek company. He found Pidge and Hunk in the common room, finally witnessing what they did together when no one else was around.</p><p>Surprisingly, they were pretty chill, together. Lance had thought they would be working on a massive project and gibbering in science terms for hours, but when Lance actually sat down with them, they were just tinkering with their own thing and talking about anything and everything. Sure, sometimes they liked to discuss the newest science conundrum or whatever, but Lance was surprised to find it didn’t fill 90% of their conversation. Most of the time, actually, they talked about Earth.</p><p>“God, I miss Pizza,” Pidge groaned. “I miss eating it frozen after being up all night at 3 a.m. because I had to hack into the Garrison to change my identity. That stuff can make you hungry.” </p><p>She was sitting on one of the couches on her laptop, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t multitask. She was a genius after all. And while sometimes she <em> was </em> working on her algorithm to find her family, most of the time she was playing a video game. She must have decided she needed something to take her mind off of yet another family member potentially being in danger.</p><p>Although, Lance wasn’t sure if it was only for her benefit. He felt kind of better either way. The sounds and the action of the game kept his head busy as he watched Pidge take down the enemies.</p><p>“Hacking into the Garrison to change your identity is not a universal experience, Pidge. But tell me about it,” Hunk said softly from the other couch. He was fiddling with this little metal thing that Lance couldn’t make out. “I miss my mom’s <em> sapasui </em>. She’s the only one I trust with spices.”</p><p>“Just because I used cinnamon instead of pepper <em> one </em> time!” Lance cried out, indignantly. Hunk didn’t look impressed.</p><p>“No way,” Pidge said, a sliver of a smile showing in the crooked, gremlin way of hers. “How could you possibly mix those two up?”</p><p>Hunk sighed from the other side, putting the wrench back in his pocket. “I ask myself the same thing every day. I still have nightmares about it.”</p><p>Lance threw a pillow at him, targeting his head, but his arm behind Pidge on the head of the couch threw off his aim. It would have almost hit Hunk’s metal toy if Hunk hadn’t reacted, and held it out of harm's way. “Careful!”</p><p>Lance winced. “Quiznak, sorry. What are you making anyway?”</p><p>“Oooooh,” Pidge piped up, pausing her game to shoot Hunk a knowing look. “He didn’t tell you about his gift for his <em> girlfriend </em>?”</p><p>“Ohohoho!” Lance caught on. “Is that for <em> Shay </em>?”</p><p>“For the last time, she’s not my girlfriend,” Hunk protested tiredly, despite Pidge’s excessive eyebrow waggling. However, when he glanced down at the metal work in his hand, a small smile revealed everything Lance needed to know. “Anyway, it’s just a stupid machine.”</p><p>“What’s it do?”</p><p>“Uh well, it helps monitoring the crystals growing cycle. It could really help her with finding ripe crystals for harvest,” he said sheepishly, “It’s kinda lame, since she can talk to the huge biomonster that she lives on, but I don’t know.”</p><p>“No,” Lance insisted, “It’s a great gift, Hunk.”</p><p>Hunk smiled gratefully at him, fishing out the wrench in his pocket again to fasten a screw.</p><p>The silence that settled between them was companionable, but it also threw Lance’s focus back on what he had tried to forget. He could sense they were all thinking the same thing. They were all a little high strung from worrying about Keith. Fighting an intergalactic war together would do that.</p><p>“What do you guys think will happen?” Pidge asked quietly. The game was still paused, but she looked at the screen as intensely as if it had still been on.</p><p>Hunk bit his lip but didn’t say anything, resorting instead to just gently stroking the metal work with his thumbs. Lance couldn’t stop staring at his own hands, where his nails were biting into the skin of his palms.</p><p>“Do you think he’ll—”</p><p>“No,” Lance said quickly, because he knew what she was about to say. He could hear it in the way her voice was quivering. He realized that he believed it. He believed in Allura. He believed in Shiro’s faith in her. He wanted Pidge to believe it, too.</p><p>Sometimes, most of the time, Lance would forget just how young Pidge was. Her snark made up for her age, but in the end, she was just a kid. They were all just kids. They didn’t belong in this war that was filled with uncertainties. Pidge least of all. He silently forgave all the times she had ever lost her temper on him.</p><p>Lance heard sniffing, and at first thought it was Pidge. But when he looked, she was just silently staring at her screen.</p><p>“I don’t know if,” Hunk said, and Lance saw tears streaming down his face. “I don’t know if I can handle Keith— oh man.” Laying the metal work beside him, he used his hands to hide his face, crying silently into them.</p><p>Pidge burst out crying, and threw her laptop away to sprint over to Hunk and hug him, crying into his shoulder. Lance stood up too, the tears welling up in his eyes and falling softly down his cheeks in a delicate line. When he sat beside Hunk, too, his arms wrapped around his big shoulders, and the tears fell on Hunk’s hair.</p><p>***</p><p>Waiting for Keith to come out was the most nerve-wracking experience Lance had ever had the misfortune of living through. It was worse than stealth missions or big operations, because there was no plan here that was somewhat reliable. Instead of 10-90 or 30-70, the worst possible outcome had a 50-50 percent chance of being a reality.</p><p>Lance didn’t know what he would do if Keith forgot him. Forgot them all. Forgot himself. The situation had come to a no-win situation, where Keith’s nightmare had the potential to be a reality, forgetting himself in his lost memories; and where if it didn’t, Lance’s nightmare would, Keith seeing him for the fraud he was and never forgive him for it.</p><p>Coran had called them all to the common room to wait for when Keith and Allura were ready to come out. Coran hadn’t been there for the process, but Allura had sent word out when it was done. As Lance bounced his leg in anticipation, fear and anxiety, Coran placed his hand on his shoulder in an act of reassurance.</p><p>He didn’t know how long he waited. How long they all waited. Hunk was pacing by the windows, wringing his hands and muttering to himself. Shiro was staring out the window, his metal hand covering his mouth in a fist, still as a statue. Pidge was sitting on the other couch, biting her nails nervously, just for something to do with her hands, Lance guessed, glancing nervously at the doors every other second or so to ensure she hadn’t missed Keith and Allura coming in. Lance thought it was the first time he’d seen her without a device in her hands. Coran stood behind Lance, his hands on both of his shoulders. </p><p>It was weirdly calming, but it didn’t quell the bouncing energy in his leg.</p><p>Lance started to resort to nail biting, too, when the doors beeped and hissed apart. Lance stood up immediately, unintentionally shaking Coran’s hands from his shoulders. Shiro turned around and looked expectant, and for a moment the whole room was holding their breath.</p><p>But Keith didn’t come through the door. Instead, Allura was alone, looking weary. Lance tensed immediately, looking behind her for any sign of Keith, but he didn’t seem to be there.</p><p>“Oh, God,” Hunk said, grabbing onto his shirt, “Is he—”</p><p>Allura held out a hand, stopping him from speaking further and gave him a reassuring smile. “Keith is fine. He woke up knowing who I am, where he was… his memory seemed to be intact, but I’m afraid we won’t know for certain until the 20 varga mark.”</p><p>At Allura’s words, the room seemed to release one collective sigh, a nasty anxiety that had been festering loosening minutely, but not entirely gone. Lance tried to relax, but he felt kind of high strung, like there was some excessive energy that needed to be released.</p><p>Hunk expelled his through his relieved tears, Shiro coming up behind him to give him a reassuring clap on the back. Hunk responded to Shiro’s small smile with one of his own.</p><p>Allura looked relieved herself. Coran came up to her from behind the couch and squeezed her forearm, his mustache tilting up into a proud smile. “I knew you could do it, Princess.”</p><p>Allura let out a sigh. “Thank you, Coran.”</p><p>“Where,” Pidge asked, her fingers loosley intertwined like she’d forgotten about them entirely. “Where is he…?” Pidge asked. Her voice sounded too small for Lance’s liking.</p><p>Allura’s smile was replaced with a frown, and she hoisted up her robes to sit on the couch wearily. They had been in the medical wing for hours. Lance couldn’t begin to imagine what kind of energy that must have taken for both of them, but Allura especially. “He retired to his room. He said he wanted to be alone for some time.”</p><p>Lance was already turning around, heading towards the doors when Shiro called out his name. “You heard Allura; I don’t think going after him is the best course of action right now.”</p><p>“I—” Lance said, his shoulders up to his ears. He felt a strong need to seek Keith out, to be with him the last few hours before they knew for sure if it had worked or not. Lance knew he himself hadn’t wanted to do it alone, no matter what he said to others. No one wants to be alone. It was the least he could do. “I have to talk to him. Set things right.”</p><p>And then he walked out, not bothering to hear Shiro’s response.</p><p>It was a short walk from the common room to Keith’s room, but it took a long time for him to gather the courage to knock on his door. Keith’s room was right next to Lance’s, and Lance thought of all the nights, the last fourteen quintants, when he had placed his hand against the wall where he knew Keith’s bed was pushed up against, just like Lance’s own, and how he had wondered what Keith was feeling, and how he was doing, and if he had forgotten already.</p><p>He didn’t want to leave things the way they were, whether Keith remembered or not. Keith deserved an explanation, an apology at least. He deserved the world, really. But Lance could start with what he could give.</p><p>He knocked on the door.</p><p>For a second, no one answered, and Lance was left to wonder if Keith really <em> had </em> gone back to his room, or if he had just lied to Allura because he knew someone would go after him. But then Lance heard a quiet, “Who is it?” from the other side.</p><p>“It’s Lance.”</p><p>No response.</p><p>He sighed. “Come on, Keith. I know you don’t really want to be alone right now.”</p><p>Again, no response. Lance worried Keith was going to make him stand outside his door all day, but then he heard the telltale beep, and the doors hissed open. He stepped inside immediately, not giving Keith a chance to change his mind, but it seemed he wasn’t going to. Keith was already headed back to his bed, where he sat and examined his knife.</p><p>Lance lingered by the door, feeling half-awkward and half like he wanted to die. He swallowed. “Hey,” he said.</p><p>“Hey,” Keith answered without looking up.</p><p>Lance sighed again and made for sitting beside Keith on the bed, making sure there was some distance between them. Keith stared intently at his knife. “How are you feeling?” Lance asked.</p><p>Keith turned his knife around in his hands as he considered the question, but he wasn’t really doing anything particular with it. Lance thought Keith might have gotten the habit from him, the need to fiddle with something when all was quiet. “I don’t know. Allura said we’ll know for sure after today, but I don’t feel any different.” </p><p>For a time, they both said nothing, Lance growing restless with the impending silence. Finally, Keith put his knife down, his hands going instead to grip his elbows. “I’m scared,” he whispered. Lance stayed quiet as Keith flicked his gaze to him, his eyes wide with worry and fear. “What if this didn’t work? Shiro said this was a last resort. What if I forget again and you’ll have to—”</p><p>“Hey,” Lance interrupted, because he didn’t want Keith to be heading down that road. He’d been there. “That’s not going to happen. This will work. It <em> has </em> worked. And even if it didn’t, do you really think anyone in this rundown, makeshift family of ours would <em> ever </em> consider throwing you out?”</p><p>“It makes the most sense,” Keith argued, “I’m just a liability like this.”</p><p>“I’ve said this fourteen times and I’ll say it again,” Lance said, gripping Keith’s face and making sure he looked him in the eyes. “You are more than Voltron. You are more than just the red paladin. We won’t leave you behind. Ever. No matter what happens, you stay right here with us. With me.”</p><p>Keith eyes were dark when they stared into Lance’s, and he thought back to this morning how big of a contrast this conversation was. Lance had woken up that morning determined to let Keith forget, even for a day, and yet here he was, back where he never wanted to be.</p><p>Keith didn’t answer to that, but he still looked sad. Worried. Almost angry but not quite there, as if something was holding his anger back from its full capacity. After a moment, he asked, “Why did you lie to me?”</p><p>Lance’s breath left his lungs, and he released Keith’s face in favor of smoothing down his shirt. Lance tried not to let Keith’s lack of protest get to his head. He didn’t want to answer, but it was what he had come here to do. He nevertheless still expected that question.</p><p>He licked his lips. “You don’t remember…”</p><p>Keith gripped Lance’s hands where they clutched Keith’s jacket, the zipper digging into his palms. He made sure not to lose eye contact, no matter how much Lance wanted to. “Tell me.”</p><p>Truthfully, Lance didn’t like to think about it. He wished he had forgotten that part, like Keith had. He shook his head, but Keith squeezed his hands, giving him courage, or maybe reminding him who he was doing this for. So, Lance barrelled through his lingering fear that had been there for two weeks, and he chose to be brave, in that moment, for Keith.</p><p>“The mission that you woke up to this morning, thinking we were late… it already happened.”</p><p>“I know, Lance—”</p><p>“Wait, just… listen.”</p><p>Keith relaxed his shoulders, released a breath and then stayed quiet, giving Lance room to start talking.</p><p>It had happened like this:</p><p>At the meeting, Shiro had paired Lance, Pidge and Keith together to give her protection and backup while she gathered the intel they needed to free the engineer prisoner. It was supposed to be smooth sailing, in and out, no one knowing they had paid a visit.</p><p>But somehow, they had tripped the alarm halfway to the main control room. They surged the last few corridors into the room by Pidge’s map, shooting or fighting any Galra that had had their tail until they locked the doors behind them when they got there. It didn’t last long, though.</p><p>The Galra must have overridden the lock code, or something like it, Lance hadn’t really understood, but soon they swarmed the control room, surrounding them and getting ready for attack. It was a small base, so there weren’t as many on board as on Zarkon’s fleet, but there were still enough for Pidge, Keith and Lance to be outnumbered.</p><p>Keith had told Pidge to keep working on getting the intel while he and Lance fought off the attacking Galra. It had gone well. Before Lance knew it, they were all littering the floor, unconscious or short-circuited, and they started to relax. Lance gave Keith a high five, and whooped, saying they were a good team.</p><p>And Keith had started to say something, something he wanted to tell Lance for a long time, when suddenly he pushed him aside. Lance didn’t know what was happening, his balance had been off, and he had tripped over his own feet from the force of Keith’s shove. Until he’d heard a sickening <em> crack </em> and witnessed Keith falling to the ground.</p><p>Lance activated his bayard immediately, shooting the sentry right in the chest until a gigantic hole appeared and showed disconnected wirings, but the damage had already been done. When Lance looked back to Keith, he realized something horrible.</p><p>Keith hadn’t kept his helmet on, he’d taken it off when he’d started to tell Lance something. His head was leaking blood, slowly.</p><p>Lance must have panicked and blocked the rest of the day out, because the next thing he remembered was when Keith got out of the cryo-pod, and had asked about the meeting, almost immediately. When the team had tried to explain to him it had already happened, Keith had just shaken his head, like he didn’t understand. The last thing he had remembered was going to bed the night before.</p><p>Allura decided that Keith hadn’t gotten enough time in the cryo-pod, that it must have released him early, despite the cryo-pod timing itself accordingly. They put him in again, regardless, but when he came out, he asked about the meeting, yet again. They told him what had happened, and why he didn’t remember, and he had made them all promise to tell him every day.</p><p>“After some time,” Lance said, his voice hoarse from talking so long. “The others noticed that you seeked me out every day, before we told you, and Shiro decided that it might mean you would take it better, if the news came from me. So I got appointed from then on to be the one to tell you. And I did. Every day.” </p><p>Keith’s grip on his hands was vice-like, his knuckles white with the strain. Keith himself didn’t stop staring at Lance, even as Lance had to look away, because he didn’t think he could handle seeing the shock and fear on him again.</p><p>“I couldn’t do it to you anymore,” Lance whispered, squeezing the zippers until they were digging deep crevices into his palm. “I couldn’t bear to see your world break apart anymore. I couldn’t take seeing you lock yourself in your room and shut me out one more time. I just wanted you to be happy. Just for one day. I know it’s not fair of me to make that decision for you, and I broke my promise, and I shouldn’t have been so selfish. I’m sorry.”</p><p>The room was silent for a long moment. Lance held his head bent between his shoulders, trying to hide behind his lankiness and shame. He didn’t want Keith to hate him. But he knew it was a likely result from this.</p><p>Until Keith said, “I would have done the same for you.”</p><p>Lance snapped his head up to look at him. Keith was staring at him, but it wasn’t an expression Lance could determine. He thought maybe Keith had tears in his eyes, but it might have just been the dim light reflecting in his eyes. His hands couldn’t have let go of Keith’s jacket even if he wanted to.</p><p>“You said,” Keith started, licking his lips, “you mentioned Shiro had noticed I was seeking you out… was that— Did I…”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lance breathed, to help him out. “Every day.”</p><p>Keith looked away, a faint red glow showing on his face even in the dim light of his room. His fingers loosened around Lance’s, but they didn’t let go. “So, this morning… it was because you knew, already, didn’t you?”</p><p>Lance nodded.</p><p>Keith hesitated, suddenly looking unsure, his grip restrengthening. “Do— do you actually love me or do you just— say that, because—”</p><p>“No,” Lance rushed, hugging Keith to his chest. He never wanted to let go. “No, Keith. Of course I love you. I love you so much.”</p><p>After a minute, Keith hugged Lance back, circling his arms around him, his grip strong. “Like you love kicking Galra butt?”</p><p>That punched a laugh right out of his lungs, the joke so unexpected Lance snorted. “Almost, although loving you <em> does </em> have its perks. Mostly for you.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Keith asked, releasing the hug, but he kept his hands at Lance’s sides, fisting his shirt in his hands. “Like what?”</p><p>“Like…” Lance said, pretending to think, “I get to go easy on you during training” he wiggled his eyebrows.</p><p>Keith scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You mean you <em> wish </em> you could go easy on me. I trampled you like a bug even <em> before </em> you loved me.”</p><p>“Or maybe that was just me going easy on you.”</p><p>“As if!”</p><p>Lance laughed, loudly and unapologetically, and it felt good to be back here, with Keith. Throwing witty comments back and forth like it was a game.</p><p>Suddenly, Lance was lurched forward, Keith’s lips falling on his like a collision of stars. It was unexpected, but not unwelcome, and Lance held Keith’s neck for a better grip of balance. </p><p>Keith kissed him like he couldn’t stop, like he was making up for all the time he hadn’t. He raised himself to his knees on the bed, towering over Lance and forcing him to crane his neck to keep their mouths together. He moved his hands from Lance’s sides to wrapping around his shoulders, Lance’s own holding Keith’s waist for support.</p><p>Keith broke away, but he didn’t go far. “Did I kiss you? Every day?”</p><p>Lance felt disoriented, and he had half a mind to respond ‘woah’, but he had just enough incentive to say, “every day,” as an answer, before diving back in.</p><p>“No wonder,” Keith said against his lips, “No wonder you were so eager this morning.”</p><p>Lance broke away, indignation flaring up like an emergency flare from a rowboat. “I wasn’t <em> eager </em>.”</p><p>“You basically hurried me along.”</p><p>“I did <em> not </em> ! W— you— you were the one to fall for all of <em> this </em>.”</p><p>Keith raised an eyebrow. “You mean you didn’t fall for all of <em> this </em>?” he said, and gestured to himself.</p><p>“Quiznak,” Lance twisted his mouth. “You got me there.”</p><p>Keith let out a laugh, and Lance couldn’t resist anymore. He kissed him until he felt dizzy. Until he felt unsure where he was in both space and time. Lance had read in a poem once that if you wanted to freeze time all you had to do was kiss someone, and it hadn’t felt truer than in this moment.</p><p>After some time, Keith broke away again, far enough to stop Lance from chasing after him. Lance sensed that Keith wanted to say something, but it took some time and some deep breaths. Lance caressed his side in a show of comfort, reaching up with his other hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear. </p><p>Keith flushed at the gesture, and hid his face in Lance’s neck, hugging him tightly. Lance returned the hug, unsure if he should say something to encourage him.</p><p>Turned out he didn’t have to. Quietly, almost inaudibly, Keith said, “I don’t want to forget this. I don’t want this to end.”</p><p>Lance tried not to let his words break his heart, but it was a futile battle. He squeezed Keith around his waist and encouraged him to sit on his lap, so that he could hug him better. “It won’t. I trust Allura. She healed you. I’m sure of it.”</p><p>Keith shook his head against Lance’s neck. “What if she didn’t?” he whispered.</p><p>“Then,” Lance said, “I’ll remind you. Every day. I’ll wake you up with a kiss, every morning, so that you’re sure about how I feel. I’ll tell you I love you, every day, so that you never forget. And even if you do, that’s okay, because I’ll just keep saying it. I’ll keep reminding you. You of all people know there is no limit to how much I can run my mouth.”</p><p>Keith released a wet laugh at that, his shoulders tensing as Lance’s neck got wet.</p><p>Lance smiled briefly, his eyes watering, too. He squeezed Keith again around his waist, holding him closer to where his heart was beating like stampeding horses. “I won’t leave you behind. I won’t.”</p><p>Keith released a sob, then loosened his grip to kiss Lance again. Lance kissed him back, cupping Keith’s cheek and swiping his tears away with his thumb. He let his own fall, his own fear and worry for Keith overwhelming him, until there was nothing left but tears.</p><p>After a while they decided to lay down, facing each other, Lance hugging Keith to his chest like he could quell the fear away from him with his embrace. He knew it didn’t work, though, because it did nothing to quell his own.</p><p>Lance promised to stay with him until the hour ran out and they knew for sure if Allura’s alchemy had worked or not, and they passed the time with kisses and embraces, with whispers between them promising an uncertain future and recounting a distant past.</p><p>And even though they tried not to, soon both their eyes fell shut, their sleep overtaking them like a blanket, but their grip around each other never wavering. Not one bit.</p><p>***</p><p>When Keith woke up, he knew it was morning. He wasn’t sure how he knew, since his room didn’t have a window, but somewhere deep inside his bones, he could tell he had slept through the night.</p><p>It was hard opening his eyes, but after a few blinks, he looked around and got used to the dry air around him.</p><p>He wasn’t alone in his bed. A heavy weight was draped over and behind him. His hand was entangled with another, the fingers laced together so perfectly, it was like two puzzle pieces that were made for each other. His breathing slowed. He was confused until he turned around and saw— Lance.</p><p>Lance was sleeping beside him, in his bed, in his room, his eyes closed in tranquility. Keith couldn’t quite believe it. He reached out a hand, to touch, just for a moment, trailing his finger from his cheekbone down his cheek to his jaw. His skin was so smooth. He wanted nothing but to lay there and trace every part of him, for the rest of his life.</p><p>“I love you,” Keith whispered into the distance between them, sweeping a loose strand away from Lance’s shut eyes and cupping his cheek. He ran a hand through his hair, the strands so soft, probably from sleep, going through his fingers seamlessly.</p><p>Then, like lightning, he was struck with everything and he inhaled sharply.</p><p>He shook Lance’s shoulder, frantically, his heart hammering with a ferocity, like it might just jump out of his chest. “Lance! Lance, wake up.”</p><p>“Hmm?” Lance stirred, but didn’t open his eyes.</p><p>“Wake up!” Keith insisted, and pushed Lance again, this time a little rougher.</p><p>Lance jolted awake his eyes blinking frantically until his gaze settled on Keith. “Huh? Keith?”</p><p>“It worked!” Keith said, his cheeks hurting from smiling so much, so big. He felt like all breath left his lungs with that sentence alone, leaving only a sense of weightlessness and joy in its wake.</p><p>Lance woke up in an instant, his eyes snapping open as wide as they could go as he stared at Keith, hope filling every crevice, every wrinkle, every inch of skin. “It worked?”</p><p>“It worked!” Keith crashed into Lance, wrapping his arms around him so tightly, he thought Lance might just meld into him, might just seep through his skin and stay in his bones. Lance fell on top of Keith, hugging him back just as tightly and peppering kisses all over his face. He was so overwhelmed he thought he might cry.</p><p>“We have to tell the others,” Lance said after kissing his forehead, and Keith saw that his eyes were wet, too.</p><p>They sprang out of bed, tumbling out of Keith’s room and yelling out of the top of their lungs “It worked! It worked!” as they raced down the hallways. They banged on every door and laughed and cried and whooped until their voices gave out.</p><p>Hunk was the first to appear out of his room, sleepily confused before he registered what they were saying. When he did, he burst into tears and lifted Keith from the ground, repeating, “oh, man, oh man.” like he couldn’t quite believe it.</p><p>Pidge and Shiro appeared not long after, Pidge barrelling straight into Keith and hugging his midriff, Shiro hugging him from behind and squeezing so hard, Keith thought he might leave an imprint of his metal arm. Keith saw in the corner of his eye that Lance was holding Hunk, both of them crying shamelessly as they celebrated.</p><p>Suddenly Coran was there, petting Keith’s head and squeezing his shoulder. His mustache twitched happily, and it struck something in Keith, something deep and familial. If Coran was here, then—</p><p>He didn’t have to wait long. Allura was running, pushing between everyone until she crashed into Keith, quite unprincess-like, and held him so fiercely Keith felt it so deep inside him, it would stay there forever. She cradled his head against her shoulder, and he could feel her shaking from her crying, but Keith didn’t mind. He didn’t care. He was pretty sure he was crying, too.</p><p>He’d been so scared. So scared to fall asleep, but here he was, remembering every single second of the day before, from morning until evening and he was surrounded by everything and everyone he knew.</p><p>He let the last of his tears fall from his eyes as everyone joined the hug. He distinctly felt Lance behind him and Pidge by his elbow, and everyone else at some variety, and he shut his eyes, feeling safe and happy and relieved.</p><p>And he vowed to himself that he would remember this moment for the rest of his life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Notes:</p><p>what Keith has is anterograde amnesia. it is the inability to create new memories after the traumatic event that caused the amnesia. there is currently no fda approved treatment for it</p><p>Sapusui is a traditional samoan meal</p><p>since the castle runs on altean time measurement, a full cycle comparable to a day is 20 varga (approximately 28 hours) which means that Keith's mind resets every 20 varga (the end of a full cycle).</p><p>And that's it!<br/>I hope you enjoyed, I always make the angst worth it for the ending haha, i love a good angst with a little fluff peppered in between :'))</p><p>If you like, you can join me in going feral over the voltron characters on <a href="https://tbartss.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> where I also make art of our favorite space ranger partners and go feral over other stuff.</p><p>Until next time, and thank you for reading!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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